


Oh brother, where art thou?

by Nisaki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Sam, Brief mention of greek gods, Case Fic, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, First Time, Incest, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mild underage, Pre-Series, Sam is 17, Top Dean, Wincest - Freeform, for the drama class promet, very little crossdressing, wincestwritingchallenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 14:25:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8165095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisaki/pseuds/Nisaki
Summary: Sometime's, Sam thought his life was worse than a 'Series Of Unfortunate Events', he went from a sad situation into sadder then down right into pathetic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : I own nothing but the plot.
> 
> Manny thanks to the wonderful people who organized this challenge, also thanks to my amazing beta who did a great job turning my mess into a readable thing, all the remaining mistakes are mine. 
> 
> A big kiss to my friend Jaena who listened to me bitch about this story for the last month, and also helped me pick the title, love you girl!

 

Sometime's Sam thought his life was worse than a 'Series Of Unfortunate Events', he went from a sad situation into sadder then down right into pathetic. Sitting there on a crappy, uncomfortable coach in another nameless motel; wondering when the space between them became so huge. They used to sit so close their shoulders touched, so close their noses almost brushed when they turned toward each other, so close they could feel the other's warmth and count the breaths. There's a whole world between them now, in the space where another person can fit, an air so big Sam felt that his hand won't touch Dean if he reaches out. He wanted to get nearer, crawl into his big brother's lap like he used to when he was five and innocent, when it would've been nothing but for safety, have these arms around him again. But he couldn't, not anymore. This distance, a foot and a half  felt like an ocean, and it was his fault, he crossed a line. Dean must've sensed something wrong with him, this is why he was holding him at an arm's length.

Sam knew he got only himself to blame, but it still hurt.

This tip toeing had started two weeks ago, right after Sam crawled into Dean's bed. That night he'd saw Dean making out with a random girl, and it wasn't something new or surprising. It wasn't the first one Sam has seen either, it's just that he couldn't take it this time. It's always hurt, but that night it was with too much intensity he couldn't breathe.

Dean wasn't meant to know about him in the bed, he'd assumed Dean would take the girl home, so he slipped between cold sheets that smelled like his bother and let the  comforting sent wash over him and sooth the pain, he covered his head and allowed his tears to fall. Dean came back though; found him in his bed, crying into the pillow. After all too many questions and "what's wrong Sammy'' s Dean gave up on getting it out of him and just laid down beside him. Sam went to his arms and cried on his chest as Dean held him through it.

 He woke up to an empty bed and after that Dean avoided him as if he had the plague.

Which brings Sam back to his current dilemma, two weeks has passed and Dean still wouldn't look him in the eye and he wouldn't _touch_ him. No patting him on the shoulder, no hair ruffles that Sam pretended to hate, no accidental hand brushing when passing a thing between them and no sitting close.

Sam couldn't imagine living like that. He depended on Dean's closeness too much to be okay without it, in their crazy life where he could lose himself Dean was his anchor and without him Sam would drift away.

He didn't know if it was bad or good luck that his attempt at talking to Dean was cut short by the arrival of his dad.  

"Get ready boys, we're hitting the road in ten," as usual, his tone left no room for argument and Dean was already moving.

Half an hour later, Sam found himself sulking in the backseat of the impala, staring blankly out of the window. Dad was taking them to NYC and Sam wasn't excited about it, apparently he wanted them to work a case there, just them, as he put it 'he couldn't be there' Sam had to bite on his tongue to keep from asking 'couldn't or wouldn't'. These clashes with his dad brought him nothing but headache and he had more than enough of that right now, so he listened as his father explained what he wanted them to do.

''It's a pattern that started 4 years ago, three victims every year around the same time, they were reported missing, but we know better. Something is killing them and it's too organized to be coincidence'' John said, voice gruff as he listed the facts. This hunt has nothing to do with whatever killed their mom, and that's exactly why he was throwing them at it, he's probably got a lead on the thing and he needed them away and distracted, their father had a fixation on that thing, and it was no secret that he wanted to take it -whatever it is- alone, without the aid of his boys. This 'case' he's putting them on is mostly a bust, another excuse for dad to ditch them somewhere, but he's not going to argue, he stopped complaining about dad leaving and started to welcome it, preferring to stay alone with Dean, his world made only of the two of them. Everybody else was an intruder; their father included.

Dean clearly didn't feel the same, always had more issues with dad leaving that he did, as a prove to that Dean started ''And how many days we're staying there? Where are we staying anyway?''

'' Juilliard school'' John answered coolly, as if it was nothing that he got them both accepted into this kind of school.

''What?'' Dean asked, awed, his objection momentarily forgotten  ''How did you manage to put us there? ain't that supposed to be some fancy ass music school?''

''I pulled off some favours, and you'll be in the drama division, all the victims are from there,''

Dean's eyes widened '' Drama? as in acting? I won't pull that off, maybe we should put Sammy on it and I can come with you?'' They both turned their heads at the sound of sharp breath intake from the backseat, Sam looked a mix of pained and resigned and John was confused at the lack of surprise on his youngest son's face, as if Dean suggesting leaving him behind wasn't a grand moment. He briefly wondered what could possibly be so wrong between them that Dean would ask to be separated from Sam, that's _never_ happened before. If anything the few times they left Sam alone or with Bobby, John had to, practically, drag him off. He won't ask them, whatever it was they'll work it out, they always did.

''You're both going,'' John said, his no bullshit voice shutting Dean up.

''Yes, sir.''

 

 

Dean was right, it _is_ a fancy ass place, and he couldn't help standing there and staring at the entrance. The building was huge and the front of it was made almost completely of glass, the design was modern and has rich assholes written all over it. Dean looked down at his clothes and then back up at the college building, it wouldn't take a genius to know that he didn't fit. He saw the same realization on his brother's face and sighed. This is going to be horrible.

The insides were even fancier, large halls and passages, the floor was brown alabaster stone that was polished to shining. The cafeteria looked expensive as hell, and they were already getting side glances from other students. Dean instinctively stepped a little to the side, blocking their view of Sam, he didn't appreciate people looking at his brother like this, as if they're better than him, screw them all, Sam was too good for them and, in Dean's opinion, they didn't deserve to even see him.

Upon reaching their assigned room, they found out that it was more an apartment than a room, and a very clean, spacious apartment at that. The place had two bed rooms and one bathroom, kitchen and living room separated only by a bar, the living room had big windows, and white walls. Furniture was tastefully arranged, a big comfortable blue coach and two similar armchairs were surrounding a coffee table. Dean noticed that there was no TV and he scowled, this apartment wasn't so cool anymore.

Sam walked around, opening doors and looking at the walls, frown firmly in place. He cringed his nose at the bedrooms as if they'd personally wronged him and Dean laughed.

''What's so funny?'' Sam asked, suspicious of his brother's sudden amusement.

Dean shook his head and chuckled ''It's just that you're really cute when you're scowling at everything, something wrong with the rooms? ''

Sam studied his brother's face for a long time before he shrugged his shoulders ''There's only one bed in each room,'' he said feigning nonchalance ''I was just worried about you, since you get so scared at night, you sure you can sleep alone, big brother?''

Dean rolled his eyes dramatically ''Right,'' To Sam's surprise he left it at that and didn't try to continue their banter ''Which room do you want?''

''Either is fine,'' He didn't care about the room, he didn't want to sleep without Dean being in the same space with him. Dean considered him for a moment then threw his duffel over his shoulder and entered the room closer to the exit.

 

Next morning came faster than Sam wanted, the bed was comfortable enough, more comfortable than any bed he's slept in before, but he spent the majority of the night tossing and turning. He might have slept two hours or so and by the time the first rays of light entered his room Sam wasn't too far from losing his mind. He headed to the kitchen after he brushed his teeth, Dean's smooth voice filling the space as he hummed under his breath. Like Sam, he was still in the clothes he's slept in except he'd chosen to forgo the shirt, his muscular back on display as he stood over the stove. Sam took a minute to stare at Dean's skin, following the patterns of freckles with his eyes and imagining himself licking them.

Feeling Sam's eyes on him, Dean threw him a smile over his shoulder. ''Morning, Sammy. I've made omelet.'' Dean sounded awfully cheerful for Sam's liking, for some reason he thought Dean would be equally grumpy, as it turned out Dean didn't have troubles sleeping in a different room. Sam ignored his brother and sat down on one of the stools, folding his arms over the bar and resting his chin on them.

Dean gave him a funny look when he didn't answer then shrugged and went back to cooking, resuming whatever tune he was humming . Sam felt his eyes drop, he was suddenly so sleepy, the melody Dean purred putting him to sleep like a lullaby. Next thing he knew, Dean's hand was on his shoulder and his rich voice close to his ear.

''Hey, Sam, wake up buddy, you gotta eat before we go,'' Dean's tone was gentle as if he was afraid he would startle Sam. Sam, groggily sat straight and started eating, he was on autopilot the whole breakfast. They changed in their rooms with the doors open, shouting back and forth on what they wanted to do on their first day. They agreed on making friends and questioning everybody, so Sam warned Dean not to be an ass.

To say the class was weird would be an underestimation, in the long list of things they did together, sharing a class was never an occurrence, it was the first time Sam was in the same class as Dean, the fact that they were acting as though they only met as roommates was even more bizarre. Sam was used to being Dean's little brother, hasn't ever thought about being a stranger in the crowd to Dean, he wondered if he could pull it off; act as if he didn't know Dean's favourite everything and the side he preferred to sleep on at night, as if he didn't memorize the rhythm of Dean's breath, and couldn't  hum the song of his heartbeat. He figured it didn't matter anyway, Because Dean could, and it wouldn't be the first time he treated Sam like a stranger.

Seeing Dean in class was equal parts fascinating and frustrating, Dean had his charm turned on full, his cocky smile and his larger than life attitude firmly in place, all the girls and most of the boys were already swooning and sending dreamy looks his way. Sam was used to taking the silent corner in his classes so it wasn't as if he begrudged Dean his amiable personality, he just thought that as the guy's brother it wouldn't work on him, the fact that it _did_ was what annoyed Sam to no end.

His musings were cut when the teacher entered the class, everybody took his place except him and Dean, they stood awkwardly in the front. The teacher took a look at them and smiled kindly.

'' Sam Wesson and Dean Smith, right?'' She addressed, Sam nodded as Dean said yes and the woman went on, ''I'm Diana Bauer, Welcome to my class boys, you arrived just in time for the upcoming play's auditions!'' So she was _that_ kind of a person, Sam thought. He should've guessed, really. She was in her mid thirties, dressed in a pink shirt and frilly white skirt that reached her knees, her blonde curly locks were pulled back in a high pony tail, blue sparkling eyes and an overly cheerful smile on her face. Yup, one of _those_ teachers.

''Awesome!'' Dean quipped, and to others it might sound excited but Sam couldn't mistake the underlying sarcasm. Or maybe he was wrong because the teacher's eyes darkened for a second before she regained her cheerful exterior. ''You can sit there,'' she pointed Sam to one of the front seats, and then motioned with her hand at the back of the class, dismissively. ''You find a seat in the back, Mr. Smith,'' Ok, trust Dean to have the teacher hate him in less than five minutes. Sam saw that coming.

Miss Bauer started the class with explaining the rules for participating in the upcoming play, which wasn't anything unexpected or complicated, all you had to do is read the script, fill a form and suffer an audition, Sam wasn't interested and this had nothing to do with their case so he tuned out most of the class, he needed to ask around in the break.

Luckily for Sam's sanity that class was the only one he shared with Dean, which meant he didn't have to be distracted all the day, another con of having an epic crush on your older brother.

When he entered the apartment later in the evening Dean was already there, unpacking groceries, and that had Sam pausing in the hallway a little because seriously, groceries?.  There was some nice aroma filling the place; Dean was cooking them dinner. ''Hey ya, Sammy, how's your day?''  

''Good, I asked around a little,'' He looks up making sure he has Dean's attention before he continues '' The guys who went missing were part of the plays, '' He goes inside, throwing his bag on the coach before making his way back and taking a seat in front of the bar.   

''That's nothing, Sammy, we're in a drama school, everyone is in a play. ''

''No, Dean, they all disappeared a little before the big opening , and it was always the same time of the year, so what I'm saying is everyone participating in the _upcoming_ play is a possible target,''

''Huh,''

''And guess who ran all these plays? ''

''Don't tell me. Miss I'm so cheerful Bauer,'' Dean waved his hands near his face, as if saying 'Crazy'.

''Yup,''

''I knew she's evil!'' Dean said as he started serving their food.

''It doesn't mean anything, Dean, she looked human and it could be a coincidence, She runs most of the shows anyway not only the ones where someone disappeared.'' He pulled his plate closer to him and lifted the spoon.

 ''Ok, so what do we do now, genius?''

''I'm ..auditioning for a role..'' Sam was waiting for Dean to start cracking jokes about Hollywood, but it never came, he looked up to find Dean considering him with an unreadable expression on his face.

''Well...''  As far as good ideas went, Sam acting as a bait isn't one of them, but Dean knows his brother too well to argue, Sammy said his idea in that way he does when he's saying something that's not up for debate. It's not like they're sure of the connection yet, although it's very rare for Sam to make such mistakes, it still doesn't mean he's right. And there's no reason for Dean to believe Sam would be taken just because he auditions, he might not get a role or he might get one and still doesn't fit the general profile of victims, as far as they know, they weren't different from the rest of the actors. Dean is certain there's a real connection between the victims apart from being in a play, these things doesn't work out randomly, and as his father said, it's too organized to be  coincidence.

''Ok, Sammy, let's eat. You can geek over your script later,''

 

 

 

It wasn't like his life till now was the example of going according to the plan so he wasn't exactly surprised, he was just mildly annoyed.  The part he got wasn't the one he auditioned for, he consoled himself with the fact that he got in at least, the problem was this role hit too close to home for him. He was supposed to play _Dave_ , a young boy who's shy and in tragic, unrequited love with the heroine,  his love is so strong he dies for her, all the while she's happily in love with another guy. So basically _Dave_ is in love with someone who will never love him in the same way; just like him. Of course the heroine wasn't _Dave_ 's sister, but Sam related to him nonetheless, it's just that Sam was more screwed because he loved his big _brother_. He'd like to say it could've been worse but these are forbidden words and if he utters them, things _will_ get worse, Sam didn't want to think about it.

Dean was preparing lunch, he took his role as a caterer without complain, he got groceries regularly and he cheerfully asked Sam what he wanted to eat every time. Sam knew it was another way of Dean's to take care of him, knew if it was up to Dean, he would always make him fresh home cooked meals the way their life never allowed. It was a nice illusion here, in this apartment that was clean and paid for, with money for their food and transportation, they didn't need much and Sam knew if they were to stay here, Dean would use what's left of their monthly allowance to buy him new clothes. He smiled into his script, yeah, he related to _Dave_ but Dean loves him more than anyone else, even if it's not the same love Sam feels, it's there and it's his; it's more than poor _Dave_ would ever get from _Lauren_. If he closes his eyes he can imagine they will always have this, a place to stay just for them, a home filled with their voices,  their smells, and their laughter.

The knock on the door had him snap his eyes open.

''Sammy, get the door!'' Dean shouted from near the stove. He went to the door and opened it without fuss, frowning in confusion at the people there.

''Hi! We thought we should all recite the script together!'' A blonde girl whom Sam didn't remember the name of and who's to play _Lauren_ (Dave's love) with two other girls and three guys were out his door, Sam was at a loss of words when Dean came behind him.

''Who's there Sammy?...Oh hi! You're supposed to be _Lauren_ '' Dean smiled at her and Sam saw the moment she turned into one of the many girls who fell under his brother's spell.

''Yes, My real name is Nicole, em You're Dean, right? Sam's roommate, you're not in the play obviously, I'm sorry is it a bad time..'' She was babbling, Sam would've thought it cute if he didn't know that her instant crush on his brother was what causing her nervousness.

''No no, come right in,'' Sam was still standing in the doorway, half glaring at Nicole when he felt Dean's hand on his waist, pulling him aside to allow their guests to enter, the movement took him by surprise, Dean hadn't touched him like that in almost three weeks and it caused him to stumble a little. Dean instantly brought his other hand to steady him and didn't let him when everyone got inside and instead of moving away from him, Dean circled his left arm around his middle and pulled him closer, using his left hand to shut the door.

''You OK, Sammy?'' The words were breathed hot and low against his earlobe, and Sam couldn't trust his voice to answer. The moment was over as fast as it begun and once he nodded, Dean stepped back and went after the others.

Sam stood where he was, taking large gulps of air and trying to tame his heart into normal beating. He didn't know how long he took, but by the time he went to the living room everyone was seated, with cold coke on the coffee table. There was no room left and Nicole was taking that chance, sitting as close to Dean as possible without sitting on him. Sam sighed heavily, he wasn't surprised at all.

''Oh hey Sammy!'' a slim guy who introduced himself as Thomas-never-call me Tom greeted him cheerfully, '' Sorry man, there are no seats left!''

''It's Sam,''  He replied calmly, catching Dean's proud smirk at his answer, it was no secret Dean was so smug about the fact that Sam didn't allow anybody else to call him 'Sammy'. ''And I have a seat,'' he then sat in Dean's lap, causing Nicole to back away a little, he glanced at Dean to see his reaction, after the initial shock disappeared from Dean's face Sam waited for him to playfully shove him off. Dean, however; placed his arms in a lose circle around him with complete ease as if this was a usual position for them to be in.

Sam wasn't about to question his luck now, so he simply picked up the script and said ''So, which part we should read first?'' 

It went silent for a few seconds till Thomas shouted ''I knew it!'' victoriously into the room.

''Oh shut up Tommy, no one wants to hear it,'' Alice - a petit girl with short brown hair- replied. Thomas was up doing some kind of a dorky dance and everybody groaned.

''What's happening exactly?'' Dean asked.

''Thomas here, was all about you guys being together, he's celebrating the fact that he's right,'' Alice told them.

Sam was caught off guard, he couldn't exactly tell them they were brothers, he didn't even know what he was trying to convey by sitting in Dean's lap, his boldness came from his jealousy and he acted without thinking it through, he remained silent and waited for Dean to say something.

''And how did he know that?''

Sam jolted visibly at Dean's question, and Nicole furrowed her brows at him before answering Dean ''He said that you moved in the same space, as if you were used to one another...'' She trailed off, her face crest fallen as if she was hoping for them to call a joke and tell her Thomas was wrong, Dean just nodded and went back to make fun of Thomas with the rest of the group.

The clock was nearing nine in the night and everyone started yawning, Sam has already fallen asleep on his shoulder and Dean couldn't help but smile. His baby brother has always been a jealous little bitch no matter how much he denied it if asked, he's always wanted Dean's attention to be focused solely on him, it's true that he pushed it too far this time but Dean supposed he was to blame, too. First he lived his life with Sam as the centre of his universe so Sam being used to it was entirely his fault, second he could have pushed Sam away and laughed it off, but he couldn't. He missed being close to Sam, even when he was the one who tried to keep a distance between them. And now everybody thought they were boyfriends, and Dean is more happy than annoyed about the prospect. He wouldn't tell Sam of course, Sammy would be sure to bitch about this later but Dean can always point out that it was his fault to begin with, or tell him he went along with it to brush Nicole off, never mind that he actually felt guilty, loving Sam that way has always brought paradox feelings. Luckily for Dean, he's lived with it long enough to get used to it.

''Ehh, guys,'' he cleared his throat ''I think it's time for you to leave, our star is asleep and you all look exhausted, '' He looked around as everybody nodded and dragged themselves up and to the door, Nicole threw a glance at him over her shoulder, asking with her eyes if he wasn't going to show them out, he grinned at her and hugged Sam closer, telling her silently that he wasn't going to move.  She smiled and waved her hand as she walked away.

Sighing, Dean looked down at his little brother, slumbering peacefully in his arms, a small smile formed on his lips as he took in the adorable sight that was Sam. Sam's head was lulled on his shoulder, arms folded on Dean's chest. Pink, inviting lips were slightly parted allowing even breaths to pass between them, Sam's lashes, thick and dark, rested on the swell of his cheeks, his face appearing angelic. Dean didn't have the heart to wake him.

His mind made, Dean stood up with Sam in his arms, walking toward Sam's room slowly, he wished more than anything as he stood over Sam's bed that he could hold Sam like this forever, that he didn't have to put him down. The empty bed taunting him, knowing that soon it'd be the one to hold Sammy's sleeping body. Gently he lowered Sam onto the bed and made to leave. A soft touch on his wrist stopped him. Sam had tried to grab him but he was half asleep and his fingers ended up brushing against Dean's wrist instead of grabbing it.

''Dean,'' His voice was barely a whisper in the dark room and Dean knew what Sam wanted, knew that he couldn't tell him no, always had a problem with denying Sammy.

''Sam...'' He started, not knowing what to say after, Sam's hand lifted from the bed again, trying to touch him.

''Stay..'' And that was it, Dean laid down beside Sam and Sam instantly plastered himself to his side, Dean holding him close, just like he did when he was young and had a nightmare, just like he did the night he found Sam crying in his bed. Closing his eyes, he let his body relax and allowed Sam's even breaths to lull him to sleep, comfortable and secure in the knowledge that the most important person to him was resting safe in his arms.  

The next few days went on uneventful, and they managed to establish a routine. Dean always woke up first, he made breakfast and they eat together, they have lunch in the cafeteria, then Dean makes dinner. Sam usually arrive later than Dean does because of the play rehearsals, in the night they did research and tried to find more connections between the victims. Their group of friends visited sometimes and they all practiced together, the feeling of being out of place flew out the window and both, he and Dean, grew close to the group of actors. Dean helped Sam by reading other characters' lines with him, he was a terrible actor but the point was to help Sam so it wasn't a big deal. Following a mutual silent agreement, they didn't bring up  the matter of them 'dating', just like they ignored the fact that they now shared a bed, they both seemed more rested like that. After the first time Sam thought it won't happen again, and he dreaded going to his bed alone that night, which lead to him falling asleep on the coach, Dean carried him into his room and slept beside him, and Sam took to fall asleep on the coach every night after, giving them the excuse they needed.  

Sam was afraid to admit that he was happy here, and yes a part of it was due to the fact that people thought they were together, but it wasn't the main reason. It was just Dean. They weren't making that much progress on the case and John didn't call once in the week and a half they spent here.  Sam dreaded the time this case would come to an end, he wished selfishly that their dad would never call them again, that somehow he would forget about them and just leave them be. But he knew that even if that happened, Dean would be the one to call, he would be the one to hold the needle and burst Sam's bubble where it's just them, happy and _safe_.

They'd just finished the last rehearsal, the play was in three days and Miss Bauer had told them to rest and take it easy. Dean had accompanied him to the theatre even though he had nothing to do with the play, he stood by and was very good at acting the 'supporting boyfriend', he went as far as hugging Sam and kissing his forehead, congratulating him on a good performance. 

''I'm exhausted,'' Sam said the moment they set foot in their apartment, Dean just turned around and regarded him wearily.

''You were great, Sam,'' waving his hand in a dismissive gesture '' The whole acting stuff I mean,'' He clarified.

Sam's warning bells were ringing alarmingly, Dean's voice was soft and he looked confused, Sam knew his brother enough to detect some apprehension in his tone, and he couldn't help but feel part of that apprehension himself, whatever got Dean this worked up was no small matter.

''Dean? '' He asked, unsure of what to expect.

''Are you happy, Sam?'' Dean surprised him by asking ''Here,'' Dean opened his arms wide to emphasize his question '' Are you happy?'' He repeated, and Sam was taken aback by how raw and vulnerable his big brother appeared. What could be so important about his answer? More pressingly, what did Dean expect to hear that got him so afraid?

Sam hasn't a clue what to say so he opted for the truth.

''I am,''

Dean's face was a strange mix of broken and resigned, as if he knew the answer and still didn't want it to be a fact, Sam was seriously worried now, his happiness has always meant the world to Dean, why would Dean feel so bad about it now?

''Do you want to stay?'' Dean asked him, not looking at him directly, and Sam didn't get to answer because Dean went on, babbling ''And don't worry about dad, I'll take care of it..I..You're already here, your expanses are paid for, God knows how, but you're here now and you're _good_ at this, Sammy, you're happy, more importantly...'' Dean trailed off and Sam didn't need him to continue, he knew what the last word was.

Safe.

It dawned on him then, that Dean _wanted_ him to stay here, that Dean understood without him saying; Sam didn't want to live as a hunter forever, he wanted out. Dean was willing to give him that, to stand up to dad and fight for him to have a chance and then another realization hit him.

''What about you?'' He was sure he knew the reply, but he had to ask.

''I'll go back with dad, keep him out of your hair, it's likely he'd let one of us go...''

Sam closed his eyes at this, his fears confirmed. Dean wanted to leave him, and maybe leaving for the sake of leaving wasn't it, but Sam couldn't help the irrational anger and fear that took over him at the idea.

''You want to leave me? '' He shouted'' Finally not having to deal with me bitching and moaning about how I don't want to hunt?''

Dean took a step forward and halted ''Sam..That's not what I meant..''

''Then what Dean?''He heard the accusation in his own voice ''You wanted me to come here alone from the beginning, you..wanted dad to send me here alone, you didn't want to be with me... You're stuck with me because of dad,'' anger drained of him and instead settled the dread, the memory of Dean in the car asking to leave Sam behind hit him with full force and he fell to his knees, eyes tearing up without his permission. He'd managed to black that out somehow and he'd let the easy feel of the past days and their returned closeness lull him into forgetting the agonizing weeks of Dean's avoidance. He forgot, but Dean didn't.

Dean moved forward without thought when he saw Sam falling to the ground, barely catching him, Sam was shaking hard and he pulled him in until he was cradled in his lap, holding him close.

''Sammy, hey shh'' He shushed gently as Sam's frame started to tremble in earnest ''Sammy, come on, what's wrong? ''

Sam's shoulders shook with the intensity of his sobs and his words were barely comprehensible ''I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so..rry'' he hiccupped ''Please don't leave..De.''

''I'm not leaving you, Sam, I'm not,'' Dean felt his neck dumping where Sam's face was buried and he hugged his baby brother closer, leaving Sam was never his intention but , clearly, Sam didn't see it that way.

''Sammy, baby, please don't cry,'' He was lost as to what to say, rocking his upper body back and forth and trying to calm Sam down. His heart shuttered with every sniffle and broken sob Sam let out and he, helplessly, rubbed at his back cursing himself for causing Sam to cry. He remembered the night, not so long ago, when he stumbled to his bed, only to find Sam there, crying, desperately, not in a different manner from his current one. And he wondered, not for the first time, what had brought tears into Sam's eyes that night? The implications of their situation now and the fact that Sam was in his bed that night led Dean to the conclusion that he was the cause back then, too. And wasn't it just great; to be the cause of misery for the one you'd give anything to see happy?

Sam's body slumped against him and he knew he must've fallen asleep, despite that his grip on Dean's shirt hasn't loosened one bit, and Dean made a thanks for small comforts. It seemed like he would have to carry Sam to his bed again this night. He vowed to stop tip toeing around whatever was happening between them and talk about it in the morning, tomorrow he won't run out of the bed; tomorrow he will tell Sam everything, lay himself bare and wait for his baby brother's judgement. He allowed himself to feel hopeful before he fell into sleep, Sam nestled as close to his chest as he could get him.

When Dean woke up later it wasn't because of a noise, it wasn't because of a dream, he was calm and well rested, and he knew the moment his eyes opened that Sam was awake too.

Sam's breaths were even but not deep enough to suggest sleep, and he was still plastered to Dean's side, one arm resting gently on his chest, the other curled between them. Sam's head was on his shoulder, and the air coming out of his lungs tickled at Dean's neck, warm and rhythmic; soothing. Dean was caught between the urge to move his hand up on Sam's spine and staying still as to not break the comfortable silence they were in. He had no doubt that Sam knew the moment he woke up, and he felt strangely baffled that Sam didn't move away.

''I'm sorry, Dean.'' Sam's whisper broke the air around them, ''I..'' He stopped hesitantly and Dean decided to move after all, he brought the arm he had around Sam's waist up to his shoulders and pulled him closer, hoping the comforting gesture would encourage his brother to go on, explain why he felt the need to apologize.

Sam swallowed several times and inhaled deeply ''I overreacted,'' He said at last. When it was clear that he had no intention of going on Dean took his chance and started to speak.

''Sammy, listen-'' a pause ''- I..You have nothing to be sorry about OK?''

''But I..''

''Sam, no.'' He chided gently ''I don't want to leave you, I never did, I just want you to be happy and I know being a hunter is not what you want and I thought..'' He thought Sam was better off without him, here in a normal life with normal people, where Dean couldn't hurt him. He wanted to tell Sam, come clean and finally let it all out, but his throat constricted, trapping his words inside.

''You thought I'd be happy if you weren't here?'' Sam asked, half hurt and half exasperated.

''You said you're happy,'' Dean argued.

''You're here too, Dean,'' And this part, he said it slowly, carefully, waiting for Dean to understand that he was the biggest part of whatever happiness Sam might have, the only happiness he wants.

''Sammy..'' Dean rasped ''I'm sorry, I'm an idiot'' Turning around to face Sam, he put some distance between them so he could look at Sam and better judge his expressions, he needed to see Sam for what he's going to say next as much as he needed Sam to see him.

''Sammy I..''

''Liste..''

They both chuckled and Dean nodded for Sam to go first.

''It's true that I want a normal life, school and friends and a part time job, but Dean, I don't want any of it without you there...This..What we have here..What we're pretending to be here, it's all I ever wanted.'' Sam wasn't talking aloud, in fact Dean was barely able to make the words, Sam whispered them so gently. But they hit with such ferocity he might as well shout them at the top of his lung, Dean took in every word, let the meaning of them wash over him and he wanted to laugh. So he did, he laughed and it was the first genuine laugh and the happiest he had in so long.

Sam nearly jumped at his reaction, looking confused and Dean continued to smile like the idiot he confessed to be.

''Thank God,'' He said at last, and before he could think about it he leaned down and locked their lips together.  

Everything crashed down on Dean the moment their lips met, Sam's surprised intake of air, the mostly protesting sound he made and the very big possibility that he misunderstood Sam. He pulled back almost immediately, Sam's shocked expression mirroring his own surprise.

" I'm sorry! " he stuttered, trying to put as much space between them as he can. Sam's arms flew out from where they were folded against him and Sam gripped his biceps, nails digging into the cloth of his t-shirt.

" No!" He cried desperately, shaking his head all the while "No, Dean. You can't take it back. please don't take this back!"

Sam was the one to initiate their contact this time, molding their lips together in an almost bruising kiss. They moved in perfect sync, Sam moving his arms under Dean's; clinging to his shoulders as Dean buried his fingers in Sam's hair , tugging at it and angling his face to deepen the kiss. Sam surrendered to his brother willingly, all but melting into him, opening up and moaning at the first touch of Dean's tongue.

Sam's body was on fire wherever Dean touched him, breathing growing labored with every sweep of Dean's tongue inside his mouth. Dean's kiss felt like a fairytale, an imaginary place filled with daises and hope, and although Sam had no other kisses to compare this one to, he knew his brother was an amazing kisser judging by the beat his heart was playing.

Dean pulled back and Sam whimpered at the loss, chasing the ghost of his brother's lips with his tongue.

"God! Sam..you taste as good as you smell," There was mirth in the green depths of Dean's eyes and Sam wondered if his own eyes were sparking like that. Dean kissed his eyebrow, his cheeks and nose, then moved down to kiss those tempting lips again, delighting in the fact that he no longer had to hold back. Sam tasted like milk and honey, smooth and sweet, he tasted like sunshine and warmth. He felt like home.   
  
Dean moved his attention to Sam's jaw, planting butterfly kisses as he made his way down to Sam's Adam's apple. Nipping and sucking at the tender area, relishing every sound he elicited of Sam. He hooked his finger in Sam's collar, yanking the t-shirt down, putting more of that delicious skin on display. Dean stared with fascination at his brother's prominent clavicle then bowed his head and licked along the bone. Sam's breath hitched and Dean smiled, he must've found one of Sam’s spots. He couldn't wait to map out the body next to his, mark all of the sensitive patches that would make his baby brother moan with pleasure. Not tonight though, he won't do that with Sam, won't go too fast, he'll take it real slow and give Sam every bit of love he had in him. He retreated, chuckling at Sam's noise of protest.

"That's enough for tonight Sammy," Sam pouted cutely, lips red and kiss swollen,  Dean couldn't resist the urge to kiss him again. Planting multiple pecks he pulled back again and gave Sam a bright smile. Sam sighed and settled down in much the same position they were in when they first woke up, Dean's arms came around him a second later, bringing him a little closer.

Several moments passed in silence, both of them content with simply lying close, soaking up each other's warmth.

"Dean?" Sam whispered.

"Hmm?"

"What happens now?" Sam's fingers were moving in circles on Dean's chest, playing with the fabric of hit tee; Dean smiled again .

"Whatever you want, Sammy" He tilted his head to the side and kissed Sam's temple.

Sam took a breath "I don't want to stay here. I mean, I like living like this, but I don't want to stay here," He felt Dean's nod.

"Yeah, OK Sammy. How about we decide where to go after we solve the case?"

Sam got up so fast Dean thought he might said something wrong. Sam gazed at him, his gorgeous bangs falling like curtains around his face and Dean marveled at how beautiful his baby brother is.

"Really?" Sam asked at last "You're willing to leave dad? You'd run away with me?"

Dean looked up into Sam's endless eyes and nodded, lifting his hand up slowly, he cupped Sam's face and caught one of the tears sliding down the smooth cheek with his thumb.

"I'd do anything for you, Sammy,"

More tears fell down Sam's eyes and onto Dean's cheek, his lips trembling.

"But do you want to? Really want to? Not just for me but for you?"

Instead of words, Dean pulled him down and kissed him again. Slow and gentle, like they had all the time in the world.

"Yes, Sam," he breathed against his lips and tucked Sam's head back under his chin

 

 

''Nicole! Hi, have you seen Sam?'' Dean asked, worry evident in his features, he'd waited for Sam with dinner like he did usually, Sam didn't have a reason to be late since they were supposed to rest up and be pretty for their play after tomorrow. Sam never made it back and when the clock hit nine Dean's allowed his paranoia to take over and started running around looking for his brother, no one has seen him after classes and Dean was growing closer to panic the nearer they got to midnight.

''Dean, hello!'' Nicole sounded surprised but not sleepy, good, so he didn't wake her up. Her surprise was justifiable since it was almost eleven at night and one does not expect visitors, especially when it was against the school's code to go to another building this late.

''Last I saw him was at the campus, Miss Bauer had asked to see him after class, something about a script modification, I haven't seen him after,'' She looked like she was going to say more but Dean bolted away the moment she paused. He wasn't interested in night chit chat, he had to find Sam and quick.

After breaking into Miss I'm too cheerful office, he was positive Sam was here at one point, he could always feel Sam's presence somehow and he was certain that this woman -if he can call her that- was involved in his disappearance. He cursed his luck, the room didn't have a security camera but then he saw the logic in it; you wouldn't want a camera around if you wanted to kidnap someone.

Flipping some files around and opening some drawers, Dean concluded there wasn't anything that could lead him to his brother among these papers.

When he got back to the apartment he half hoped he'd find Sam there, but he knew it was just wishful thinking even without having to see the empty space.

Two hours and six coffee cops later Dean hit the jackpot. Diana Bauer has two properties, her apartment and an old, small building that used to be an orphanage. He could be there in less than an hour if he broke every speed limit known to man; Dean planned to do just that.

Thanking whatever god is listening for the fact that no one was out in the streets on 2 am, he made it to his destination in record time and if he cared he might have wondered how the hell no one stopped him, driving NYC's streets with such speed. He parked the car 100 feet away from the building in an attempt to have the element of surprise on his side, the impala's engine was too loud for him to get any closer with her. Checking the security on his gun again, he tucked a small revolver under the back of his shirt, and tied his emergency dagger near his ankle. He took a breath and made his way toward the building.

 

 

The first thought that occurred to Sam when he woke up was that he wasn't in his bed, the second was trying to get up, but for some reason his body refused to cooperate. He blinked several times, trying to remember what happened to him, the last thing he had a recognition of was his visit to Miss Bauer office.

Miss Bauer. She must've slipped him something.

He groaned at the dull pain in the back of his skill, but he didn't let it deter him, he scanned the room he was in, the place was old and empty, but it wasn't abandoned. It was clean and there was a dim orange glow, casting soft shadows on the walls. With no small effort he lifted his head and looked down at his body, eyes widening as he took in his dressing state. He dropped his head back into the stone he was lying on, which was some kind of an altar  from the feel of it, it didn't take him long to put the pieces together.

Candle lit old building, an altar, he couldn't move and he's wearing a dress...He was certain he's supposed to be a sacrifice...or a bride considering his white gown.

''I see you're awake,'' Miss Bauer said, voice eerily cheerful, She was dressed in long tailed  dress that looked like it was taken out of a Greek mythology book, Sam couldn't make the exact colour in the dark but it seemed dark blue or maybe purple. She's let her hair down and was walking around the altar , lightening more candles. The sweet odor of melting wax filled the air and Sam had to swallow several times to keep down the bile that crept up his throat.

''Well, you seem relatively calm, the others weren't so collected,'' She jested.

''I knew you were evil,'' Both heads snapped at the source of the voice, Dean was standing in the entrance of the room, gun held in steady hands, pointed at Diana.

''Back away,'' Dean said, motioning with his gun for her to move, she ignored him and turned to Sam, cupping his face in her right hand, she glanced at Dean and smiled.

''He's beautiful, isn't he? lying helpless,'' Hand now stroking at Sam's locks ''Look at him, sweet and innocent, the perfect gift for Dionysus,''

''The Greek god of drama? makes sense I suppose, but I really don't give a fuck , so step away from my brother,''  Dean was slowly moving into the room.

''hmm, would you give one if I told you that I've already started the ritual? I cast a spell and marked him as god Dionysus's, you can't do anything now even if you killed me,''

Dean's approach halted at that, hands almost losing the grip on the pistol, he recovered quickly and straightened his stance, he'll figure it out one thing at a time.

''I'm very pleased you two came up! I haven't had a chance to do the ritual the right way in years! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find good actors that are actually virgins? I had to give crappy actors all the past years because the good ones couldn't keep it in their pants!'' Dean had no idea why they always had to hear this villain speech, but she seemed quite worked up, anger IS good, anger is a distraction, if he could get her to chatter more maybe he'd get close enough to Knock her out, she was obviously human, a crazy one but a human still, he wouldn't kill her if he could help it.

''And then fate threw sweet little Sammy my way,'' She trailed her fingers on his lips and smirked ''Up until yesterday even those lips were virginal,'' Her smile only widened when Sam jerked his face away from her, she caressed his jaw seeming to ignore Dean's presence completely ''So beautiful..maybe this time god Dionysus would be pleased with me,'' Her smile got maniac and then she started chanting something in Greek, Sam panicked as his skin started to burn and he screamed in agony.

The sound of a shot echoed off the walls, and Diana dropped to the ground, Clutching uselessly at her midsection as blood pored throw her wound.

''What did you do to him?!'' Dean demanded, shoving the gun's barrel into her temple, she grinned up at him.

''It's already started, in two hours or less, once the sigils are finished , poor Sammy's soul will go to Olympus,''

''No!..Stop it! now stop it!'' Dean shouted, he heard Sam calling for him, and hit Diana at the back of her head causing her to fall unconscious, Dean didn't spare her another thought as he hurried toward the altar .

''Sammy..'' He breathed, taking Sam's hand into his own, ''I...'' He couldn't say anything, as much as he wanted to apologize to Sam, fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness he knew it wouldn't change a thing. His eyes filled with tears and he watched, helpless , as strange, red patterns started to appear on Sam's skin. Dean looked at his brother then, noting the lilac cloth that covered half of his chest where the marks were painting themselves, following the dress down till it ended on Sam's tantalizing thighs. The bitch was right, Sam is beautiful.

Dean glanced at the room once more then pulled a labored breath into his lungs, hauling himself up to sit beside Sam at the altar.

''Dean,'' Sam rasped ''Look at me,'' And Dean couldn't say no, not to Sam, not now after he let him down, so he turned back and faced his brother, wishing that he was the one dying instead, wishing he'd objected to Sam's plan. He stared into the galaxies in Sam's eyes, saw the beginning of everything and all that he lived for and he knew, what he'd do once the spell took Sam. He'll put the gun in his mouth and eat a bullet, he'll follow Sam wherever he went.

''Can you do something for me? Please,'' Sam's cheeks were wet with tears, and Dean wouldn't refuse him now if it killed him.

''Anything, Sammy.''

''Take me,'' Sam breathed ''Make me yours before I..I want that so much Dean,''

Dean let his own tears go then, opened himself and let Sam see everything on his face, he took their clothes off, not slowly but not fast either, then took his place between Sam's legs on the altar. Sam's thighs fell open for him and he looked down at Sam, laid bare and gorgeous, he crouched down till his face was aligned to Sam's, kissing him achingly slow and swallowing his moan greedily.  

In a perfect world he'd do this right, kiss every inch of Sam's skin and take him apart with pleasure only to put him back again, but they didn't have the luxury of time. So Dean ended their kiss and moved, kissing a trail down Sam's body till he reached his groin. Sam's dick was hard and flushed, leaking his excitement onto his belly and he gasped as Dean licked at the slit.  Sucking gently at the head, Dean moved down; licking at his balls. Sam's hips bucked when he  felt the first stroke of Dean's tongue at his hole, wet and warm and strangely good. Dean licked at him vigorously, messily opening him up with saliva, He moaned when Dean's index entered him, moving till it was knuckle deep.

Dean continued sucking and licking adding fingers till he had three up Sam' ass, circling and scissoring, he was hard as a rock, aching with the need to be buried inside his brother, but he didn't want to hurt Sam, he had to make sure he was ready. Sam cried out when Dean touched something inside him that made pleasure shoot throw him.

Dean pulled his fingers out and Sam didn't have the time to miss them, because soon Dean was arched over him, his dick's head stretching Sam's entrance and he pushed in slowly, both of them chocking at the feeling of finally being one.

They stared at each other then, Sam wanted to lose himself in the brilliant green eyes that gazed down at him with so much tenderness his heart ached.  

''I love you, Dean.'' His voice was calm, serene, he couldn't imagine a better place to be in, and despite everything just the knowledge that he had _this_ made it all worth it, he didn't, couldn't, regret coming here.

Dean started to thrust his hips, slowly building up a rhythm till he was pounding into Sam, both of them moaning out their pleasure. Dean dropped his head down and drew a path of kisses over the lines that appeared on Sam's skin, licking and sucking at every patch he could reach.

Sam was lethargic due to the spell but with each thrust of Dean he felt himself growing stronger, as if Dean's energy was seeping into him where they connected and he hooked his legs around Dean, rocking back and meeting every snap of his brother's hips. Burying his fingers in Dean's short strands he pulled him down into a passionate kiss that further heightened their shared ecstasy. They hugged each other as close as they could get, chest to chest and mouth to mouth, Dean held him tight as he fucked into him and Sam cried out loudly, unabashed.

''Dean Dean _Dean_ ,'' He repeated the name over and over, screaming it and Dean devoured the delicious sound of his own name, felt its shape on Sam's lips. The room around them blurred as they grew nearer to the edge, bodies silk with sweat and tears. Sam gave a final shout and shuddered as he came, and soon after Dean growled into his neck and he felt a rush of warmth inside him.

They were both panting, hearts still hammering between their ribs, Dean bowed to Kiss him again. He kissed him and kissed him and kissed him till their lips hurt and they couldn't breathe anymore.

''I love you, too, Sammy. Always have, always will,'' Dean got up, his softening cock slipping out with a wet sound and Sam whimpered at the sensation of cum tickling down his thigh. He was feeling oddly refreshed, the lethargy he felt earlier completely gone, and he was great save from the soreness in his ass.

''Dean,'' He called and  shoot up into a sitting position watching with widening eyes as the sigils on his body disappeared , leaving no marks behind them. Dean looked at him and Sam saw the same confusion in Dean's features.

''Wha..'' Dean started, catching Sam's forearm and bringing it near his face, inspecting it ''Did what I think happen actually happen?'' He enquired, dumbfounded.

''The...'' Sam made a gesture with his hand avoiding the world all together ''Broke the spell. She was going on and on about virginity and I lost it before the spell was completed...''

Dean grinned at him and Sam was waiting for Dean to crack one of his inappropriate jokes, instead Dean placed a chaste kiss on his mouth. He then bent down and picked up the dress Sam was wearing and pointedly wiggled his brows at Sam as he used the material to clean them both off. After finishing, he folded the damn thing and placed it next to where Sam was sitting. Sam watched as Dean put his clothes back on, pausing when he held his shirt and instead of wearing it he turned around and put it on Sam. It was big enough to cover him a little under his ass. Sam blushed up to the tips of his ears but didn't protest when Dean carried him bridal style out of the building.

''Must you take this?'' Sam said as he looped his arms around Dean's neck, Dean looked at the dress and laughed.

''I'll get rid of it don't worry, I used it to clean us and the alter, we don't want to leave a trail~'' He sang the last part, and laughed again, this time Sam joined him in his merry.

''Where to now, Dean? '' Sam asked as the impala came to view.

''I was thinking I'd get us to a beach, a warm place, whadya say Sammy?''

Planting a firm kiss on Dean's lips he answered ''Sounds perfect, Dean.''

 

-End.   

**Author's Note:**

> Being a virgin sucks, you're the perfect sacrifice! 
> 
> Thank you for reading this story!. Feedback is love <3


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